When we wake up in the morning, we always have fresh new day to accomplish the new goals but when people like me sleep in the night we sleep with unaccomplished amount of the goals that were decided in the morning. That defines the gap in my ought self and real self and hence lead to guilt. Similarly when I watch the personality which I want to be like and I find the gap between my set of rituals and his/her then this gap between my real self and my ideal self lead again to guilt. This can be the dilemma of everyone's life but a few gets it understanding. I am not praising myself but thinking a little more than my ordinary past. Whatever, I know I have passed two saturdays without writing and there should be a mixture of my 3 occasions right now. So combining the whole of theory of life what I understood in these 21 days is that we are nothing.
That's not a joke but the actuality, when we dig deeper and deeper and deeper, we find the smallest molecule of life. we can never come to an end. Minute to minute molecule or element or atom further be divided into more smaller element and we can not deny it's existence similarly when we find human is a smart combination or concentration of these millions or billions of items we find the reality of our self. When I say this is the date I.e april 30, 2021 is my date of birth that doesn't mean I took birth on this date that date is just a moment when I get out of my mothers womb, actually I am 9 more months older than my age. Is not it? Obviously yes, also I am older than my date of birth 9 months that's just a physical reality but there are also others factors which are responsible for my existence there and these factors are not just the resultant of human minds' thought process but also because of the certain laws of this natures which is always trying to evolve some new. Hence I am the resultant of some laws of nature, energy reactions, and demand of time. I used some terms there in this sentence like energy, time, laws of nature, human thought process its action and also reaction. Energy exists physically, but no one else I.e. time doesn't exists physically but still we can't deny its existence, thought doesn't exists physically still it exists. Finally the laws of existence like every action has its equal and opposite reaction. Do you know we all had this law in front of our eyes still we were unable to find it. Because we are searching our present in past or future but actually it exist in now. We are all trying to dominate whole education but losing the creativity the volcano of wisdom. Human is the smartest fool who always finds suffering in search of joy and always lose his permanent wisdom by getting knowledge. Self starts becoming bigger and bigger and bigger and human starts losing joy, freedom, convenience. We can see the live examples in our surrounding. Obviously when we do something it always has under some surveillance like what the people will think of me if I will be doing like this, what will be the impact of my this saying, what will the reaction of society and so many other factors.
Once I was attending a seminar there was a senior IPS officer, who had written many poems and contributed to literature in many ways. He asked the audience to ask some question. I just stood up and asked, I'm a M.Sc maths student and don't you think I'm wasting my time there by attending this seminar? Shan't you think I should solve my theorems by going to Library? which is not going to be helpful there in my journey of academics. Then first he asked me to put my shirt in my pants and asked me be casual a little. Then he said whatever you're doing in your academics these things you'll not find in your books which I'm telling you there in this seminar and because he has insulted me by questioning about my dressing sense, I felt a little insult and then I left the seminar but in whole lecture he made me example in many ways. Now, when I remember that days I found the joy, what the days were these. Wow.
But actually when I find the facts I have lost nothing by attending the seminar but actually it contributed a lot in my treasure of experiences.
I'm sure you'll be uncertain what I'm going to make you understand and that had always been the beauty of my blogs that either they will not be understandable or you find not the knowledge but the experiences in them. You will find not the treasure box but the key to treasure there.
So guys lets have good night and sweet dreams.
Love you all so much.

